Handling Setbacks & Failures

Have you ever felt like something was holding you back? Have you ever felt like your efforts weren't enough? Well, believe me, I’ve been there. As an anxious college student, I have encountered many setbacks and failures.

Setbacks and failures can really falter us in our tracks and can ultimately stop us in our journey to find God’s calling for us in life. We must rise up from these negative feelings of disconnection and doubt. We need to learn how to overcome them.

While reading Todd D. Zakrajsek’s The New Science of Learning, I have learned about having a growth mindset. A person with a growth mindset can be described as someone who believes that their success derives from their efforts. This person seeks challenges and views everything as a learning opportunity. They believe that there is always room for improvement and appreciate feedback.

Whereas a person with a fixed mindset can be described as someone who believes that they were born with certain abilities. This person believes that they either “have it” or don’t. For example, the statement “I can’t do math” signifies a fixed mindset. This statement suggests that this person believes that they are not good at math, and therefore think that they can’t do math. 

By being able to change perspectives, I’ve been able to view my setbacks and failures in a different light. For example, when I viewed negative feedback on my work, the fixed mindset in me saw it as not only an obstacle but a whole brick wall stopping me from going any further. “This is the end,” or so I thought.

Looking back at that time, I could have looked at my situation in a more positive light. Using a growth mindset has helped me rise up from any growing or wavering doubt even when obstacles get thrown in my way. I just remember that everything has a purpose. If I don’t get the job I want, God has a better one in store. This is just the beginning.

I can use this experience to help me prepare better in the future when another opportunity arises. If I can’t do it, I just remind myself that, “I can’t do it yet.” Just the addition or change of that one word makes a difference. It reminds me that it’s not the end, it’s an opportunity to learn and grow. There is time to improve.

As a college student, sometimes I get caught in this thinking trap where I believe that I have to have it all figured out. All the way from my major to graduation to my future career path. The next five years of my life should be planned out, like everyone else. Those next steps. And as I continue to think, I get overwhelmed, discouraged, and lose focus.

So, instead I remember where I am now and look at the opportunity that was given to me today. I give my plans and concerns to God and trust that even as changes come, all will be okay. I will be okay. 

In this moment, I feel a wave of relief wash over me. I smile as I know I have reached the calm of the storm. We can’t predict all of life no matter how much we plan. There will always be obstacles that we didn’t account for. But even what may seem like a setback or failure will be purposefully placed for our good and God’s glory. When I get caught up in this rush of thoughts piling on top of one another, I tend to get overwhelmed. I feel as if my brain can’t function properly anymore.

So, in this moment, I pray. Continuous prayer helps me to slow down in the fast-paced society we live in. It gives me the chance to breathe. To take a breath. To calm down.

If you are ever seeking help, come visit us in Gainesville or our new location in Orlando! If an in-person visit doesn’t work for you, we can schedule a virtual online meeting as well. We are always here for you :)

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